A few weeks ago I had a vasectomy. Strangely, I was less apprehensive about getting the surgery than I was about attending the consultation that preceded it a few weeks earlier. I did think occasionally about canceling, but it was more to do with the nervousness about being sliced open than the consequences of infertility.
I was led to a waiting room that was populated entirely with old people or women. Not a male even remotely close to my age insight. I was told to strip naked and put on one of those gowns that are open on the back. I was then given a proper housecoat to cover myself. I was taken to a semi-private alcove where a nurse took my blood pressure and heart rate. I stripped off my housecoat and was led into an operating room.
Two nurses awaited me in the operating room, they did a very good job of making me feel comfortable both physically and mentally. Soon I was lying on the operating table, bright lights in my eyes and the steady beep-beep-beep of my heart rate sounding loudly from the monitor. A tiny part of me wanted to bolt from that room (again, the prospect of having my scrotum cut open is not pleasant) but my resolve was like a hurricane compared to that tiny breeze of dissent. I was very calm.
The doctor exposed my midsection, shaved most of my scrotum, and swabbed the entire area with (cold) iodine.
The needle he inserted into my scrotum to inject the numbing agent hurt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I clenched my fists and teeth. I arched my back. Every single muscle in my body was at full contraction. I stopped breathing. The nurses became quite concerned; they told me to relax and breathe. Of course, I did this anyway as soon as I was able. Once the numbing agent hit the testicle it was as if someone was squeezing it really hard. The pain wasn’t as bad as the injection, but it was still very uncomfortable. The actual procedure itself was unpleasant, but not painful. It just felt like someone was rooting around in my scrotum. It did take a conscious effort to remain calm and not get a little freaked out. During this portion, I was speaking (and even joking) with the doctor.
Then the needle went in for the other side. I was ready for the pain this time. There was no massive muscle contractions. I did clench my teeth/fists and hold my breath, but not nearly as long or as noticeable as last time.
Once the procedure was done I was placed on a stretcher and wheeled into a recovery room. The nurse gave me cookies and juice (a nice touch) and told me to get dressed. I received a prescription for pain medication and was on my way. I filled the prescription on the way home; I thought I would be in too much pain to do so once the numbing had worn off.
When I got home I carefully removed the bandage to inspect the wounds. I had two half-inch incisions on each side of my scrotum, neatly tied up with one stitch each. The sight of the wounds and associated blood oozing from my scrotum nearly caused me to pass out. I quickly put the bandage back on.
Turns out I didn’t need any pain medication at all. I iced the area as instructed for the first couple hours. The bleeding stopped on the first day and much of the pain was gone by the second. The wounds seeped very small amounts of fluid for the first week. After the first week one side was completely healed.
During the second week the other side began to seep a small amount of pus and blood. The area also looked a little swollen and infected. I thought it might be my body attacking the dissolvable stitches, but why hadn’t the other side reacted in such a way? At the end of the second week I very carefully removed the stitches from both sides. After that both sides healed completely in about a day. It’s been several weeks and all I have are two small bumps and some redness where the incisions were. They’re barely noticeable. The testes are a little tender, but only when they’re touched. I go in for my fertility test in a few weeks.
I only took a break from masturbation for four days, and from sex for a week.
Submitted by an anonymous reader
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JockstrapsPapi Men’s Cotton Jock Strap 3-Pack
Ice packsTheraPearl Ice Pack with Gel Beads
Home Vasectomy TestSpermCheck Vasectomy Test Kit
Donut-shaped pillowErgonomic Innovations Orthopaedic Seat
If you are considering a vasectomy, read the doctors’ reviews! I had the no-needle, no-scalpel, open-ended procedure, you can view it on Youtube under “Gentle Touch Vasectomy”.
I walked out feeling just like I did when I walked in. I watched the whole thing, from swabbing with antiseptic to Mada Jet anesthesia, to clamp, twist, poke, and extract the vas, cauterizing and dividing it with the pen, to dropping it back into the scrotum and repeating on the other side through the same hole that closed up like the hole after giving blood. The whole thing took 6 minutes from drop your drawers to pull your pants up. I was given a prescription for three antibiotic pills at the consultation the week before. Instructions after were don’t soak or swim for a week, bring a sample to the lab in three months, and use protection until you are proven sterile.
There was no bruising, bleeding, itchy scab, stitches, swelling (on the third day small lumps formed because it was open-ended, but they didn’t hurt and they have vanished) no frozen peas, or pain! Stopped and walked car lots on the way home. Woke that night with an erection, tried it out and it still didn’t feel any different. If I hadn’t watched I wouldn’t really know anything happened down there. I’ve had friends that went somewhere else and looked like hell walking out, and had to take time off.
So once again, read the reviews of the doctor you are considering if he recommends icing, find someone that doesn’t, and has great recommendations! I lucked out with “Vasectomy Pro” in Utah.