David’s experience: A very minor operation, but a big decision for a man to make

First, I have to say that this site, and the personal experiences listed here, have been a big help to me.

The procedure itself was nothing at all, aside from the mental distress and anxiety that I felt that day (and the days leading up to it), it would have been much like an easy dental appointment. I asked for valium (yes, I had to ask for it) which helped me get through the procedure without being too nervous.

The procedure

The nurse called me in (I thought that I was going to sign in, but she led me right to the surgical suite, which was in an outpatient facility, and not in a hospital), and prepped me for the big event. I stripped down, removing all my clothes (except for my socks), putting on a paper dressing gown, and then hopped onto the table. The nurse returned, and lifted my paper gown, sprayed me with this incredibly cold antibacterial solution, and covered me with heavy blue-green surgical sheets, exposing the guest of honor. I was prepped, and ready to go.

A scrub nurse and my doctor joined us to begin the procedure. I felt three pin-prick injections which were painful, but much less than I had imagined. The doctor began to work. It was not until I smelled the cauterized tissue that I knew that the procedure was underway. The right side was done before I even suspected that we had started. The procedure was duplicated for the left side, and I felt the slight pulling that has been discussed here. Again the smell (somewhat like burning hair) and a few stitches, followed by the final handshake with my doctor. It was over.

Post-op

Incredibly, I was able to walk and get around immediately after the operation. The nurse had placed gauze bandages on the incisions and helped me pull on a jockstrap. The rest of the day was spent in my recliner, with a bag of frozen peas strategically placed to reduce swelling (a very cheap alternative to an ice pack). The rest of day 1 and all of day 2 were spent resting either in bed or in my recliner, even though I felt that I could do much more. I am following my doctor’s advice, and resting as much as possible to speed the recovery process.

Day 3, I did drive into town to run some errands, which may have been too much exertion. I am back in the recliner today and have been here ever since. It has been difficult to stay off my feet because I really do not feel that bad, other than a slight, mild pain that I constantly feel in my groin as if I had been given a kick in the nuts. Even that pain is not too bad, I felt worse after riding my bike.

Summary

Even though I have prepared for this decision, and know that this was the right decision, there is remorse that I feel about never being able to father a child again. The experiences that I share with my family have been the best moments of my life. However, my wife had complications during the birth of my son seven years ago, pre-eclampsia necessitated that her labor was induced, and afterward, she suffered from toxic shock syndrome and postpartum depression. Needless-to-say, she has been very concerned about becoming pregnant again. It was a rough time for both of us, and in some ways, she has not forgiven me for being unable to deal with the experience. I was there for her during labor, but after the postpartum depression, I broke down and was unable to deal with her toxic shock, relying on a family member to take her back to the hospital. I was deeply ashamed of the fact that I was not stronger for her, and was not there for her at that time… and she was very resentful toward me for years afterward. Our sex life had slowed to nearly nothing, and our relationship was beginning to be affected.

The vasectomy is a very minor operation, but is a big decision for a man and wife to make. My own personal reasons for going ahead with the vasectomy were centered around the love I have for my wife, and the need to re-establish the sexual bonding we had together. My vasectomy is as permanent as my love for my wife.

Submitted by David