Mike’s experience: Knowledge is power

As I found this site very comforting when I was doing research I thought I would relate my experiences for those now considering doing the deed. Some background to start – I am a 38 y/o, recently re-married, an overweight professional who works too much and exercises too little; a normal guy. I recently married a 35 y/o mom with an 18 y/o daughter who had no interest in raising a child again (she did it right the first time!). This was great because I had known most of my life that fatherhood was not going to be part of my life experiences and was happy this way. After discussing options for a year I came to accept that a vasectomy was a much easier procedure to complete, with much less risk, so I scheduled a consultation with a urologist.

The first visit was a breeze – a discussion of the procedure and the outcome, a review of my family situation and it was “off with your shorts”. A short examination followed (mostly checking the equipment) and I could once again hide my shame. An interesting comment from the doctor was that because my scrotal sack was hypo-plastic (meaning kinda tight, not hanging down) he might have to make two punctures during the actual procedure. He assured me that if that did happen it would not be a problem; he just needed to be able to get hold of both tubes and that might require 2 punctures. This is where a critical part of the process comes in; when he offers you a Valium prescription for the procedure TAKE IT! You’ll understand why in a minute.

The day of the vasectomy

Two anxious weeks later and “the day” had come. I was pretty nervous all day but I knew this was the right thing to do, that it wouldn’t be a horrible experience and that I just needed to overcome my fears about needles and knives around my “junk”. After reviewing and dismissing all my escape plans (French Foreign Legion, Twinkie smuggler, International Man of Mystery) I called the doc’s office an hour before my appointment to make sure they were on time (didn’t want Valium to wear off early), changed clothes, popped the little green pill and waited for “bliss”. Probably because I’m a big guy I never got bliss but I did get a little sleepy and I was more relaxed before, during, and after. And the relaxation part was the important part because by the time I dropped trousers being relaxed had big Jim and the twins hangin’ low, just swingin’ man! No hypo-plastic marble sack for me, thank you very much!

The actual procedure was both easy and uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was the handling of the testes to find, orient and hold the vas deferens still so he could complete the procedure. The injection into each vas for the local anesthesia was not a problem; a pinch followed by a few seconds of burning while things went numb. Once numb, I didn’t have any problems or difficulties with the pulling, cutting, or cauterizing. Interestingly, my right teste was a lot more sensitive than my left (didn’t feel a thing on the left) and the work on the right side was a little more uncomfortable. For me, the worst part of the procedure was after each vas deferens was cut and sealed, when the doc would have to put everything “back in place” and make sure the teste and tubes were oriented correctly. There was a lot of pulling and pressure down there and it was very unpleasant, but not painful. 20 minutes after I went in I walked out in a little bit of discomfort, but with a seed-free future ahead of me. This was Friday afternoon.

After the procedure

As I write this it’s Sunday evening, 2 days later. Friday afternoon and most of Saturday were spent on the couch with a bag of frozen peas by my side. Like Friday afternoon, I mostly have an ache in my testicles that was pretty well masked by regular feedings of Tylenol/Codeine. I could get around the house just fine but I walked like a penguin. By Sunday the pain had risen to my lower abdomen (again, a dull and constant ache) but “the boys” were OK. I’m not sure if the abdomen ache is from pulling on the tubes and testes during the procedure or from my frequent contraction of those muscles during the procedure. As the day wears on I’m thinking it’s the latter. The only other discomfort I have is when the scab on the puncture site rubs against my underwear or gets stretched, that’s pretty annoying. I also found that I didn’t need to take the Tylenol/Codeine most of the day Sunday; I even went shopping for a replacement TV at 3 stores Sunday; I felt that good!

Final thoughts

1. Yes, it’s scary – get over it! Your equipment will work fine and you will still be a “stud”. Just get past your fears for your wife’s sake; you won’t die from a vasectomy but your wife just might from her procedure!
2. Take the valium!
3. Read up on the procedure; knowledge is power!
4. In the end, it’s was no big deal, just a little pain, and some weekend discomfort. Your own anxiety is the worst part of the experience!

Submitted by Mike