Gary’s experience: What teachers do on vacation

Here is my NSV story.

Statistics first. 35 years of age, 2 children (ages 6 and 4.5), married 8 plus years, thought about it for about 5 years. Finally, had it done in August 2000. Wish that I would have had it done right after the birth of a second child.

In my family, all of the women had their tubes tied. In my wife’s family, all of the men had the “V”. So, we knew that one of us would get it done. I sort of thought that maybe she would do it after the delivery of #2. She didn’t. She never encouraged me to get it done, it was always a “someday thing if I wanted to”. I agreed to have it done “someday”. But, our health insurance didn’t cover the “V”. Anyway, things just moved along, money was tight and we were careful. About a year ago I switched employers. The new employer covered it. So then it was decided that I would certainly have it done. But I sure didn’t want to take anytime off with a new job. So it was still on the back burner.

This summer several of our friends/family had babies. We were able to spend time with them. I love my kids and really LOVE that the youngest is over 4 years old and “independent”. The summer visits made me 100% certain that I never wanted to care for another infant again. Along with the baby visits, my brother-in-law had a “V” in the spring. After he went my wife talked about it a little bit, but never encouraged me at all.

I’m a teacher, summer vacation was great and with only about 4 weeks of vacation left I made the call without telling my wife. I actually set an appointment and everything. Then I told my wife about it, she had scheduled a getaway for the family on the same day. So I canceled that appointment. (told them we just weren’t sure) Besides, they were making a big deal of everything. The consult was to be attended by both myself and my wife, they sent booklets in the mail, and more. It was just a BIG DEAL.

So we went away. While gone, I called another Dr. and inquired about appointments. I was told it would be about 6 weeks. I told them that I was a teacher on vacation and would like to get it done before school started. I was put on hold and then scheduled the consult for 3 days later. (this one didn’t need the wife).

I did a lot of “surfing” and was ready to go. The stories here are a great resource to anyone that is thinking about it. I was ready for the whole process. Let the games begin.

I went to the consultation on a Monday morning. I made sure I was showered and scrubbed clean and fresh. (I was nervous but ready for the “checkup”). I found his office and discovered it was full of old men with all kinds of problems. Most of them appeared to know each other and shared their entire medical history with each other and anyone else listening. Eventually, I was called back and told to wait for the doctor. I was given a sheet of paper with the procedure described, etc. That was a 30-minute wait. Finally, the doctor came in. He apologized for the wait and explained that they decided to fit me in rather than make me wait 6 weeks.

He introduced himself. Inquired as to who I was, what I wanted, and what my “family life” was like. He even shared his “family” history and the fact that they had 2 kids then waited several years and had 2 more. I explained that I didn’t want diapers, etc., ever again. He agreed it was a pain. Then he quickly explained all other b-control options. I think it was more a routine of the consult as he didn’t spend any time at all on the other options. He asked if I ever had any problems or injuries “down there”. I hadn’t so he recorded the medical notes into his tape recorder.

Okay, I was ready to drop “trou” for the man. He then inquired when I started back to work. He advised that he would rather do it on the Friday before the Monday that I actually had scheduled with the nurse. He told me that the extra 2 days would make a difference to me. So after more notes into the recorder, I was again waiting and wondering what the “exam” would be like. I was shocked when he said, “Okay, I’ll see you Friday”. I asked him if that was all for the day and he said, “Sure, have a great week”. (NO EXAM)

I was a bit shocked, but also relieved that I was free to leave. After I got home, I read the paper again. It said to wear tight briefs. It said nothing about shaving. So I didn’t. I figured that maybe he would do it or something like that. My thoughts were he didn’t tell me to so I won’t. This doctor even said that if I had no other options it would be okay to drive home.

The day of the vasectomy

Friday arrived, I told my wife that she could take me and bring me home but that she could go shopping. I surely didn’t want her to watch. She dropped me off and planned on coming back in about an hour. I went to the office and waited with a few other younger guys. One by one he called them back and one by one they all came out with a little brown bag. Finally it was my turn.

I went back and was ushered into a small room by a female nurse. I don’t know why but I was sort of hoping for a male nurse. She gave me the rundown of what was about to happen. She asked if I had any questions and then told me the doctor would be in shortly. She instructed me to remove pants and underwear and to sit on the table and wait for the doctor.

Previously, I had a slight “what if fear” about getting a woody. This sure wasn’t a problem. (Think extreme turtle here) About 5 minutes later the doctor came in, told me to lay back, and started spraying my nuts with antiseptic. All within about the first minute – so much for a greeting. He then asked if I ever had any injuries. I said no then he told me that the last guy did and that is why I had to wait. (too much information for me) My thoughts were here goes. This won’t be too bad.

Then the door opened and not just one female nurse but two came in. At first, I thought they thought the room was empty. Not a chance. The Dr. introduced the nurses and said that one was there to help while the other was going to watch. He explained that she was new to his office and was learning his procedures. Since I was a teacher he thought I would understand. I was in no position to object… he actually had me by the balls.

When introduced the student said, “Glad to see you”. (as she stared at my crotch) I said, “I can see you are – all of me at that”. She turned purple. The doctor made jokes and then said here goes the shot. It was nothing. I didn’t think he even did it.

Then the very slight pulling started. Within seconds he was telling me he was done with the right side. The left side was another story. It took almost 5 minutes with more pulling. He said that the cord was “hiding”. Everyone talked and joked the entire time. Pull out, cut, burn, stuff back, and finish in no time. He showed me what was removed. (as I recognized it – he could have shown me anything)

(I noted to myself that he never cut a hair. So much for shaving.) He did mention that he has done over 500 NSVs.

Then he left the room with the student nurse. The other one told me that I could sit up and get dressed while she was out of the room. If I was sitting in the chair when she came back I could leave. If I felt dizzy to lay down and rest. I was in the chair.

I didn’t spend much time checking things out in the office. Still noticed that I looked like a turtle. This condition lasted for about 5 days. I was able to walk out of the office on my own with no pain. At the counter, the doctor told me that the shot would wear off in about 2 hours. Also told me to take Tylenol for pain if any.

I went to the parking lot to find my wife. With each step, things moved around a bit but no major pain. Once in the car, my wife asked if I was hungry. I told her we had 2 hours – we actually went out to eat. After about an hour I was rushing my wife along. I didn’t eat much.

We went home and I went to bed with frozen peas and tight undies. I didn’t sleep at all. Things did get more tender. My wife gave me one of her prescribed pain pills. It did nothing for me. I wasn’t in pain …just very tender. Eventually, I fell asleep, at least 2 hours after my wife did. I did get up to use the bathroom, still had the turtle thing happening. You can imagine that pulling things out in the open was not a total joy. While I was in the bathroom, our puppy took my frozen peas and ran downstairs with them. I was able to get them from him and finally went to sleep. I did get a woody during the night. (things still worked that way)

Recovery

In the morning I had the courage to check things out. I found the scar in the middle, front of the scrotum near the base of the penis. (No bandage at all — it did leave a bloodstain in my briefs about the size of a golf ball) The scar was about the size of the hole in the kid’s juice pouches. It was still sort of open, it looked like I could have stuck a straw in it (I DIDN’T) My left testicle was swelled for about 5 days.

The doctor did give me antibiotics to take for 5 days as a precaution. By the seventh day, I was able to sleep with my knees apart for the first time. By the tenth day, there was no pain. On the 14th day, I squatted to help a student. When I stood up I thought I blew a nut. It hurt more than ever before. It felt like something was pulled out of place. By the time I got home the left testicle was swelled up again. It took another week to go back to normal.

The doctor told me to wait 7 days before ejaculation. With the turtle thing and all, that was no problem. By day 7 I was ready to check it out. I did a solo job. Everything worked fine. If any difference it was more intense. Probably because it had been a week. The next day I had help from my wife – everything worked that way also.

One month later, I was able to go back to boxers. I tried them earlier but the support made things feel better. The first couple of days the jock was the most comfortable. The tight briefs and jocks were just too tight.

I would certainly do it again. My advise to fellow teachers. Get it done during the summer or at least on a long weekend. I can’t imagine “performing” in front of a classroom full of students the very next day or two.

Total bill not covered by insurance: less than $8.00.

Submitted by Gary