Randy’s experience: My vasectomy story

My wife and I will have been married 17 years this coming June. We have one child a 10-year-old boy who is the absolute center of our universe. My wife had a very difficult pregnancy with 23 hours of labor, preceded by 6 weeks of bed rest. Her water broke but she didn’t immediately go into labor so she had to be induced and because of that the Dr. recommended that she have an epidural. Naturally, she was hesitant to have one but ultimately she decided to go ahead with it. I don’t want to make my story about the birth of our son but it does play an important role in why I ultimately decided that a vasectomy was the right thing for us.

During the 6 weeks my wife spent on bed rest we made 11 trips to the hospital for premature labor and each time she would have a shot to reduce the contractions. On several occasions, we spent extra time in the hospital because she developed elevated blood pressure. Once her water broke and they had to induce labor, her blood pressure went through the roof. During her labor, the Dr.’s were involved in an emergency delivery on another woman who was admitted the same time my wife was. This woman’s delivery became very complicated and the rumor was that they almost lost her during delivery.

At 1:00 am my wife began pushing and by 3:00 am was exhausted and her blood pressure was in the dangerous category. The doctors were just finishing the other delivery and decided they need to get the baby. They were going to try forceps first and if those didn’t work they would do a c-section. Well, the forceps worked and she delivered our son at 4:45 am on February 12, 1995.

My wife went through a very difficult time with post partum depression which led to a very sparse sex life over the next year. As you can imagine my wife was not too excited about having another child and we were always worried that she would have some of the same problems if she were to become pregnant again. My wife is not a very tall woman being only 5’3″ and birth control pills made her gain excessive weight so we had always used a condom.

Several times over the last 11 years she suggested a vasectomy, to which I told her to go take a long walk off a short pier. My older brothers have both had vasectomies and my father also had one. I had some misconceptions about a vasectomy that I think a lot of men have. First, I was under the impression that they gave you a shot in your nuts, and second, the pain after the procedure was like having your nuts in a vice. Let me tell you they are both false.

I came to the decision to have a vasectomy on my own. I am going to be 39 years old this June and during my wife’s last OB-GYN visit she was told that having another child would be dangerous for her. Like the first one wasn’t! My Dad was 41 when I was born and died 4 years ago on January 31st at the age of 77. I always felt cheated that I didn’t have a Dad who was able to be my coach or be an active father. My Dad was a blue-collar kind of guy and it was not that he was lazy but he was physically unable to do the things that some of the younger dads could do. So my age was also a factor in my decision. I did not want to be an old Dad.

So, on a recent visit to my family doctor for a physical, I asked about having a vasectomy. He said that he didn’t perform them any longer but referred me to a urologist. I came home from my physical and discussed this with my wife. She was very supportive and about a week later I made my appointment. I wanted to have it done and be healed up in time to coach my son’s baseball team this spring, so I made my appointment for January 6, 2006.

Over the next few weeks, I had some apprehension about what would occur. I came to this site several times just to calm my fears. About 4 days before I was scheduled to have the procedure I found out that I had to fly to Denver the following Thursday for a business meeting. I decided that having the procedure was probably not the wisest thing to do since they did not want you to lift over 30 pounds for a couple of weeks after your vasectomy, so I postponed. Then I felt like a chicken, so I called back the next day and rescheduled for January 20th.

I had already received my packet of information from the Dr’s office so on Tuesday before the procedure I filled out the information. In Texas, the wife does not have to fill out any paperwork giving permission. I was hesitant and by filling out the papers knew that I would not have any more children. I would have loved to have another one or two, but knew that my wife would not be able to physically be able to deliver and it was in her best interest that we not have anymore. Besides, God had already given us a wonderful son. I felt bad for him because I knew that he would be an only child much like I was even though I had 2 older brothers.

I made arrangements with my office to not be in on Friday and possibly on Monday. I am a regional sales manager who manages 3 salespeople all of who just happen to be women. I tried to be very vague about what I was having but as you know, women can be very persistent. I ended up telling 2 of 3 just because they wouldn’t let it die.

The vasectomy

The big day finally arrived. I followed the doctor’s instructions and washed my genitals very well, although they ask that I not shave my genitals prior to the procedure. This gave me hope that a cute nurse would. 🙂 The instructions from the doctor was to arrive 30 minutes prior to the appointment, which my wife and I did. I took a book and my son’s iPod just to keep myself occupied.

Once we arrived and I checked in I tried to read my book but was not able to keep focused, so I pulled out my son’s iPod. I had downloaded my own play list that morning and began to listen to some music. My appointment was for 9:45 am but by 10:15 I was still in the waiting room. Finally, at about 10:20 a very nice looking nurse called us back. I was in luck, a hot looking nurse! She took us into a room, asked me to have a seat, and began to explain what would happen. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her breasts that were hidden by a loose-fitting top, she also wore blue jeans and cowboy boots. I was actually worried that if she was in the room she might get a view of my manhood in its full glory. During this time she explained what would happen and also gave us statistics about failure rate, chronic pain, and a couple of other things I can’t remember. She left the room and said the doctor would be in shortly. I popped the ear plugs of the iPod back in and just tried to relax.

The doctor came in, introduced himself and he too spouted off all of the statistics that the cute nurse gave us. He asked how long we had been married, how many children, and why we wanted to have a vasectomy. After answering the questions to his satisfaction he asked my wife to leave the room and instructed me to remove my shoes, pants, and underwear. I could leave my socks and shirt on. I was to put the paper sheet over me and lie on the table and he would be back in a few minutes. I did as he instructed and just knew that cute nurse would also be back. NOT!

He came back in a few minutes and I was deep into my iPod. He came back in slapped on a pair of gloves and grabbed a razor. I am a very hairy person and he made the comment that nature had not been kind to me for this type of operation. He began grabbed my penis moved it out of the way and began to shave me. Well, whatever excitement I had about the cute nurse went right out the window as he dry shaved me. Nice.

Once he was done with the razor, he pulled off about 2 feet of surgical tape and strapped by dick to my belly. I have talked with a couple of people who have had a vasectomy and they said that they did not have their dick strapped to their belly. Hey, anything to keep that part of my body out of it. He then proceeded to swab my testicle in what seemed like gallons of betadine. From there, he grabbed the needle. Now prior to the “stick”, he felt around and found my vas. He told me that I would feel a “stick” and possibly a little burn. While I DID feel the “stick” I did not feel the burn. Just to dispel a rumor, and one that I certainly had, they do not give you the shot in your balls. The needle is inserted into your vas in approximately the same area where they are going to take it out. Yes. I felt the stick but it actually hurt a lot less than what a dentist gives you. One reason for this is that unlike a dentist my doctor did not move the needle around. He did both sides and said he would be back in about 5 minutes.

I was listening to my iPod and trying to focus on the music and not what was going on around my pleasure region. I became somewhat concerned during the 5-minute wait because unlike when you are at the dentist I didn’t feel anything getting numb. This concerned me greatly when he returned and once again I was disappointed that nurse hottie was not with him.

He asked how I was doing, and I said fine. Life is full of funny little moments and while listening to my iPod, Gretchen Wilson’s “Here for the Party” came on, the doctor said just be glad the Screaming Eagles wasn’t playing. I wanted to tell him I was disappointed that nurse hottie wasn’t with him but I didn’t want to piss him off. One of the things I have yet to figure out was when he said that he was now going to deaden the skin. Huh? What the hell did you just do? He started on the right side and I didn’t feel a thing which was a relief. He then stuck me on the left side and that one I felt. I told him that I felt that one but didn’t feel a thing on the right. He said he has done thousands of vasectomies and it never ceases to amaze him when that happens as he can’t figure out why.

He grabbed the scalpel and said to just hold still. OK, I can do that. He told me that I would feel some pressure which, I felt very little. I didn’t feel a thing and was relieved that the Novocain or whatever he used actually worked. Once he made the incision he grabbed some instruments and began to poke around. He said that I might feel some pulling or pressure. That I felt. Actually, I felt the pulling up into my kidneys. I heard the clicking of the instruments and wondered what hell he was doing. Finally, I saw him grab some nylon and began to tie off the vas. I asked him why he used stitches rather than cauterize. He said that he can’t control how far up or down the electricity goes and if I ever wanted to have a reversal, the stitches allowed for a much great chance of success.

He closed up the right side and started on the left. I was somewhat concerned because I felt the second shot he had given me. However, I didn’t feel a thing. The left side was much quicker than the right. He said that it was due to my vas being smaller than normal. That’s OK because you only get your dick strapped to your belly if you’re bigger than normal. It’s a nice trade off.

Once he closed up the left side, he told me to go ahead and use some water to clean up and get dressed. One thing I forgot to mention was that during the procedure on both sides I felt something running down the crack of my butt. When I asked him was this was he said it was the Novocain. It is very watery and has a tendency to run out. I was just hoping that it worked before it ran out.

I asked him if I should wear the jock strap that I brought with me and he said it was up to me. I decided not to wear it as I had briefs with me. He also gave me a 4×4 gauze pad to put over the stitches.

After the procedure

Once I was dressed he came back in and gave me a prescription for some Tylenol with codeine and 2 small bottles for collection. He said masturbation worked the best but if we wanted to try to have my wife involved that was OK too. He said if I wanted to fly solo or have a co-pilot it was up to me.

I walked out of the doctor’s office very gingerly although it would be several hours before I would feel a thing. I walked to the car and my wife drove me home. On the way, we dropped off the prescription for the Tylenol and headed home. My wife had bought 3 bags of frozen peas which I soon found out would become my best friend.

I got a couple of pillows and plopped myself on the couch. I found a couple of other pillows and propped my legs up. I was starved so my wife ran out and got me something to eat. Over the next few hours, I just laid low and used the peas. I got up and peed a couple of times, thankful that at least that part worked. I took 1 Tylenol about 3 hours after I was home as I was starting to feel some discomfort. The funny thing was that I felt it only on my left side and none on my right. I took a short nap and got up around 6:30 and had some dinner. I found my way back to the couch and laid low the rest of the evening and took another Tylenol before bed.

I was worried about how I would sleep because I wasn’t sure how I would feel. I slept fairly well although I did wake up several times. I am not sure why because I wasn’t in any pain. I felt pretty rested when I got up the next morning. I didn’t take a shower because the instructions I was given was to not take a shower for the first 24 hours and no swimming or hot tub for 72 hours.

My son had a basketball game on Saturday so I did get up and shave and brushed my teeth. I wore jeans to the basketball game and did pretty well in the first half. I restrained myself and although I cheered I did not jump up and down, which is saying something for me. However, about halfway through the second half, I started to feel nauseated. I got up and spent the rest of the game standing near the edge of the court. I couldn’t wait to go home and lay back down. I took one of my little friends and just tried to relax the rest of the day.

I felt really good when some friends came over and brought me a care package consisting of a six-pack of beer, some hot nuts, popcorn, Oreo’s, and a movie with Jenny McCarthy. I had a beer on top of the Tylenol and soon found myself enjoying another nap. 🙂

That night I had diner on the couch and watched a movie with my son. I went to bed and woke up around 8:00 am. Up until this point, I had no accidents with someone bumping me. We have a little dog who sleeps with us and she is a great dog. Every morning she wakes up on my right side which is the side I sleep on. She normally waits until I wake up then she jumps over me so I can get up. Well, this morning she jumped over me using my groin area as her personal springboard. I saw stars and couldn’t catch my breath for about 5 minutes.

The rest of today I have just laid low and watched football. I am still a little sore on my left side but have had no pain on the right side whatsoever. While I haven’t had an erection in a couple days, which has to be a personal record, I am looking forward to seeing if everything works OK.

The experience has been better than I thought and the pain I was expecting to have has been much less the I thought. I am looking forward to having my wife help me reach the 20 ejaculations and once I test clean, to the life without condoms.

Submitted by Randy