Greenfeather’s experience: Childfree Blackfoot Indian gets the snip

I’m writing this 23 days post-op. We are a child-free couple 37 years old and have been together for 18 years and married for 7. My choice to get a vasectomy is one of her needing to get off the pill due to health reasons and she took care of the birth control for 17 years so it’s my turn. My wife’s side of the story is also on this site as Melissa’s story.

The consults

I had 3 consults with different doctors before I found one that I trusted to get that “PERSONAL” with my nether region! The first one I didn’t care for because of the elitist attitude, something that I can do without. The second was so ham-fisted that I was in pain for 2 days after the consult! Hey doc, they are attached and don’t like to be stretched like that! Not a good way to make a first impression. The third was just right, he did the NSV and open-ended that I required exclusively of all the other procedures.

The wait

It took 6 weeks after the consult to get my appointment. It was scheduled for Dec 20th, but a family emergency postponed my surgery until January 10, 2003. No biggie, or so I thought. The next 3 weeks seemed like they would never end one day dragging into the next and my attitude was going right into the crapper from having the surgery hanging over my head. How my wife made it through I’ll never know!

The big day arrives

I slept quite well and awoke at 6 am and showered and did a touch up shave while I was alone. My wife hopped in the shower and gave me my “Last Nookie” before the chopping implements were applied to my tubes. It was awesome, probably the second-best sex I’d ever had. We left the house at 9:15 for a 10:30 appointment, it’s an hour’s drive to the city to the hospital. we arrived, signed in and things started to go horribly awry. The referral sheet wasn’t filled out correctly and I told the receptionist that if there was a problem that I’d pay for it with my credit card, she said that my primary doctor could fax it over and that would be fine. He was running about 20 minutes ahead of schedule and soon we were called back and I was on the table.

The operation

We were joined by a resident and his nurse. I was hooked up to a pulse ox and BP monitor as a precaution as the doctor said he’s had guys pass out. I also received a Versed drip as I was worried that the Lidocaine wouldn’t work from prior problems at the dentist with my teeth not being numb. It was unnecessary as the Lidocaine worked like a charm. I’m going to add that there was going to be video and pics, but that didn’t happen. The video camera went south and I only had enough room on the card to get 3 pictures which didn’t turn out at all. I was disappointed, to say the least! When the camera died all I could picture was the fire dept. coming in with my scrotum pulled through the drape and seeing the look of horror on their faces! He asked if I minded if a woman urologist watched and I said no problem as it was already a party in there. He got out a razor and I told him that he wouldn’t be needing it, he commented on the good job I did and asked if I wanted a part-time job shaving his patients. I declined and added that I didn’t think too many guys would like a 6’5″ Blackfoot Indian coming at their scrotum with a sharp instrument! He and the resident got a laugh out of that. He said there’s going to be a little pinch, I didn’t feel the first injection at all. With this injection, I told him that the only 2 things that I didn’t want to hear were “OOPS” or” What’s next?”. His reply was ” Turn the page so I can see the pictures on the next page”. We all got a laugh about it. About 10 minutes later he said the same thing and this one I felt. It wasn’t that bad, he said he must have gotten too close to the vas deferens and that was what caused the discomfort. We talked about all kinds of things and he commented on what a good job I did on the Ring clamps and Dissecting Forceps I made for him. I make special instruments for special applications and for ergonomics as a sideline as I’m a Master Machinist by trade. In 25 minutes I was done and on my way home.

The evening after

I went directly home and parked myself in my chair with ice on my scrotum and took hydrocodone and slept pretty much the rest of the afternoon with my wife changing my ice and generally taking care of me. She’d only let me up to pee. The swelling was about 1 inch and I was bleeding a small amount from the incisions, but it wasn’t anything to worry about.

The weekend and Monday

I took off the Monday after and I wish that I’d have taken the entire week off, but I didn’t want to burn a week’s vacation over this. Still no severe swelling. A strange bruise developed up the underside of the shaft of my penis about 1 cm in width and 4-6 cm long originating from the line between the incisions. I iced my scrotum on Saturday and in the mornings of Sunday and Monday.

The rest of the week

Tuesday and Wednesday went off without a hitch other than I was sore at the end of the day from being on my feet for 8-10 hours. I’d like to add that if I had it to do over or you are on your feet for a long time take the week off and DO NOT LIFT ANYTHING! On Thursday I hopped off the forklift not even thinking about it and I thought I would just die! It felt like my balls had detached and were on their way to my boots! I immediately went home and took off Friday as well. Nobody was the wiser, I played it off like I twisted my ankle.

The first test drive

On Monday when she got home I was feeling quite amorous, so we decided to give the old hydraulic system a test run. Here’s a position that you guys that are post-op less than a week might want to try. Pile up some pillows and/or blankets and have your partner lay on them to lift her up, the “Pendulum action at this time is not a good thing!”, go slow and steady. The first time out of the box is about the best sex you’ll ever have until you get the “All Clear” if you’ve been using barrier methods, something that we haven’t used for 16 years. I might add here that I took the old boy out for a solo flight in the Am just to see if the pain factor would be a problem and it wasn’t. My doctor said that we could resume sexual intercourse “Next Week”, hey Monday is “Next Week”. I followed his orders. The only pain was near the incisions and it didn’t detract from the task at hand, and we went slow ahead and it was great!

The semen tests

I was a biology major before I changed my major so I thought that I would do some investigation on my decline in sperm count. With that said these findings are NOT very scientific, but rather a way to see the decline in sperm counts. The collection of samples from the vagina isn’t the best way to get a good count on the tadpole population!

1. ~ 5 million
2. ~ 3.5 million
3. ~ 750,000
4. ~ 300,000
5. ~ 120,000
6. ~ 2,000
7. ~ 400
8. ~ 40 live, about 10 non-motile
9. ~ 4 live 4 dead
10. ~ 1 live 4 dead
11. ~ 0 live 4 dead
12. ~ 0 live 0 dead #1 clear
13. ~ 0 live
14. ~ 0 live 1 deformed
15. ~ 0 live

I’ve checked several since then and the doctor has given me the all clear with a sample collected via a hand job administered by the wife.

Conclusions

I’m happy as hell with the way the procedure went and would do it again tomorrow. It’s the best thing that I’ve ever done for our relationship. I’m back to 100% at 3 weeks post-op and any sexual position is no problem. I’ve never been one for rough scrotum play, I had a girlfriend that grabbed me hard once and she was kicked off the bed and I’ve been weird about it ever since. I developed the obligatory granulomas that aren’t at all painful unless I prod at them. They’re about 1 cm in diameter they’ve gone down in the last week from about 1.5 cm 1-week post-op.

Update 30th July 2003

I’m writing this a little over the six-month mark, almost to seven months. No problems to speak of, the aching has gone and I’m back to working out 4 days a week and have been for about 3 months now full bore. I took it easy for the first 2 months at the urging of my wife. The sex is great! Melissa coming off the Pill had another unintended side effect that I wasn’t quite expecting, Her libido has really picked up and I love it. Towards the end of the time she was taking the Pill, I would have to really work to get her revved up, not anymore! Guys, if you want to do something really great for the one you love, look into a vasectomy.

Update April 11, 2009

Well, it’s been a tad over 6 years since I updated my story so I guess I need to do that. Nothing has really changed, nothing fell off, turned green and Beezlebub didn’t come up and grab me from the face of the Earth. The wife and I have been making good use of my surgery. She’s still doing well and loving our, sort of, newfound freedom. I still check a sample, it’s still clear. I guess the morbid curiosity keeps me checking them. Plus, having the wife extract the sample is a good bonding experience, I didn’t think I mentioned that she had the Kung Fu grip, did I?