Nathan’s experience: Straightforward vasectomy

Years ago, I swam with a group of friends at a public pool. The facilities were (and probably still are) very nice. Besides the pool, we had a whirlpool, and both men’s and women’s steam rooms. Because we frequented this pool so often, we were friends with all the staff and especially the lifeguards. One afternoon while swimming, one of the lifeguards stopped us all and told us (holding back tears of laughter) to “get a load of the guy in the steam room”. We all ran into the steam room to see what was so funny. All we saw was the pool manager, two paramedics, and a guy sitting in the room with a towel on. We asked a few questions and found out the whole story.

The guy, having just swum for a few hours was cold and wanted to warm up. He stepped inside the sauna, un-wrapped his towel, and then sat down with the towel on top of his legs. The room being very warm started doing its magic on his “family jewels”. They began to hang down between the slats of the bench. Then after about forty minutes or so his testicles began to swell. When it was time to leave, he attempted to stand up and you guessed it… OUCH! His nuts became even more inflamed and he had an even harder time getting out. He had to call on some passers-by for help. They got the lifeguards and then the pool manager who then called the paramedics.

Doesn’t seem like this has anything to do with vasectomy, but it does. From the time of the above experience until now, I have lived in mortal fear of having my balls hurt. Most guys do, so it really is no difference – except that I saw the look on the guys face as they took him out of the steam room, and it wasn’t a happy one! So when I first considered vasectomy, I cringed and my balls found a way to shrivel up the size of raisins.

Research

I studied every angle, I read every web site and every story and read every book and study I could find about the operation. I then decided to go ahead with it for the following reasons:

1. Chemical birth control (the pill) is known to cause several health problems and is much more likely than a vasectomy to cause serious problems.
2. Condoms are no fun, they ruin the mood, and I’ve broken a few in my time (and yes I used them right).
3. Seeing the risks involved, they are far less than tubal ligation.
4. It looks like less than 2% of people have chronic pain lasting more than a month. Of these most sufferers are able to overcome the pain in less than three.
5. Sexual side effects are very low, though some report experiencing loss of feeling or erectile dysfunction. But you can experience these effects when using a condom.
6. So having investigated the procedure I decided to have it done.

The procedure

I was very apprehensive about the operation and was hoping for some Valium for my nerves. I had never met the doctor before which added to my nervousness. My wife and I arrived 15 minutes ahead of time and to our surprise, they led me right in for the procedure. I was told to disrobe and place a sheet on myself. I did so and waited about five minutes before the doctor came in. I grilled him with a bunch of questions about the procedure. He told me everything I needed to know. He did a bilateral vasectomy closed-ended with two incisions. It wasn’t my first choice (I wanted an open-ended no-scalpel procedure but no one in the area does them) but I decided that it’s better to have an experienced surgeon (with a proven track record) perform the operation using older techniques, than a newer doctor who has less experience with newer techniques.

I thought I had done a fine job shaving, but I must not have because he shaved my sack with a razor for about 30 seconds before starting. I started hyperventilating because I’m a pussy when it comes to needles and sharp instruments when they are around my gonads (he really should have prescribed Valium for my nerves). It felt like a pinch, not anywhere near as bad as expected. He made the incision and I honestly didn’t feel a thing. I was still hyperventilating as I heard the snip, still felt nothing. He finished up and told me to relax. I breathed even harder as he started on the second side. There was some minor discomfort but no yank or pull just a little pinch and some tinkering “down there”. Then he stitched up and told me he was through. I had almost passed out from hyperventilating so when I sat up the room went kind of fuzzy and dark. He shook my hand and told me how to care for the wounds and when to bring the samples in (didn’t hear a thing I was still trying not to faint). I walked out of the room and my wife paid the bill which was $620.00. There was almost no pain during the operation it felt a lot like getting your teeth worked on but your mouth is in your crotch instead of on your face.

After the operation

The rest of the day and for the next two days, It felt like someone was squeezing my balls just enough to cause them to hurt (I’m sure the guy in my story felt a lot worse). He prescribed Percocet which feels pretty nice. Make sure you take it with food. I took mine once without food and ate afterward. I projectile vomited my food into the toilet.

It is now three days since the snip and my balls are still a little achy but not bad. I have a little bruising but nothing to worry about. All in all, it hasn’t been so bad of an experience for me. By far the worst part was worrying about the operation for two weeks and especially the night before.

Submitted by Nathan