Spank’s experience: Two work colleagues get the snip

After having a “scare” in December with my wife being late, it hit me! With me turning 37 soon, I did not want another newborn in my life. Well, thankfully my worrying was all for nothing since after 3 pregnancy tests turned up negative. It was at that point that I need to act on the thought of getting a vasectomy. Interestingly enough, my good friend Scott who I work with (at a major brewery in Milwaukee) got to talking about my dilemma, and he himself was thinking about getting the procedure since his wife was pregnant with their second and they had absolutely no plans for a third. Within a few days, we both made calls to our prospective doctors after reading other men’s accounts of the procedure.

I also consulted my brother-in-law to see where he had his done. After checking my insurance online, his doctor was in my plan, so I called and made the consult appointment, at the same time the nurse recommended I set the procedure date, we settled on February 7th (which happens to be the day after I turned 37). For weeks, Scott and I were the talk of the office with our looming procedures. Our doctors were actually more interesting due to their names and our particular procedures. Their names are Dr. Johnson and Dr. Slocum.

Well, Scott went first on February 4th. After his procedure, he called me from the parking lot all chatty about how the procedure was no big deal! I talked to him for 7 minutes, if he told me once, he told me 5 times that the whole procedure was very easy, not painful, that I shouldn’t worry at all about my procedure. This whole time mind you, I heard his wife laughing in the background. I kept in contact with Scott and his wife via messenger for the next 2 days, and the only thing that kept coming across the screen was that Scott was in no pain except for his back since he was just laying around watching TV.

My procedure

I got to the office about a half-hour after taking my valium, and to be honest, I was not nervous at all. The nurse brought me back to the room, I got ready on the table… she came back and got me ready… yes, she had the shaver in hand! I was not happy with the thought of the itch I would have in a few days. It took her about 10 minutes to get me (and my boys) ready for the procedure. After getting Dr. Slocum, in the room… he stuck me with the needle 3 times. No, before anyone starts to shriek, the needle sticks were Nothing! If you thwap yourself with a 12-inch ruler on your thigh, it would hurt worse. I didn’t even feel the needle when he stuck me the third time since the Lidocaine was already working from the previous 2 shots. My procedure was a “scalpel – midline incision” procedure. The doctor, nurses and I had a general, light conversation during the procedure. I joked around with him, he joked around right back. It was a piece of cake! After about 12 to 15 minutes, we shook hands and I got dressed and left. On the way home, my wife asked me about how things went, I told her it was no big deal at all. I was reminded of the phone call Scott gave me after his procedure to tell me that same thing.

I would say the weirdest thing was when he cauterized the tubes, I equated it to the curing process when I had a cavity… the smell was a little similar, not gross at all. Both Scott and I are sitting next to each other at work, laughing at what a simple little procedure it really is. I would recommend having 3 or 4 Ace softside ice-gel packs, so that you can have a rotation where you will always have a really cold one ready. I made sure to have 2 of them, but Scott’s wife put an extra one in my little Birthday/care package, it was nice that she was thinking of my, um, comfort. (lol) I iced my boys for about 30 hours… just cause it’s so easy to do when sitting around the house watching countless DVDs and TV.

If you are at all nervous, hesitant, or scared…please don’t be! A really nice paper cut on your finger will hurt much worse.

Submitted by Spank